"Live, Laugh, Love"
Today, I found out a patient of mine died.
I was on my way to do a house visit, and her daugher answered the phone. At first, I thought it was my patient and I said, "Hi! It's Dr. Joag. I'm on my way to your home."
Her daughter explained who she was, and quietly and very slowly told me that her mother had passed away last week, right before Thanksgiving.
"Are you sure?" I asked. I didn't want it to be true.
"Do I have the right phone number? You're her daughter? How is this possible? I just spoke to her yesterday.", I sputtered.
Her daughter went on to give me more details, but I had mentally checked out. I didn't hear a word she said to me. I was barely trying to register that she died... that's she's dead.
The past 3 months have been tough for all of us at the office. We've lost six patients in the past 3 months, and it doesn't get any easier. It's always shocking, and I never fail to break down into tears.
Some have lived long lives, into their 90's and others are barely 60.
Each time I am face to face with the death of a close patient, it reminds me to just be in the here and now.
"Live for today!", I tell myself.
"Make the most out of every day that you have here in this life time. You never know what the next day, next hour, or next minute may bring. LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE", I keep saying those three words, like my mantra.
JUST BE. Enjoy each and every day, as a precious gift, and RELISH IT!
"Please excuse our mess. We are making family memories."
I have to admit... I hate having a messy home! My mind feels clogged, and I literally can't think until my space is clean.
Sometimes it drives my husband wild. "Just sit down!", he says. But I can't get myself to relax until I have things in order.
Today, I just didn't feel like cleaning. I had a long, long day at work, and I just wanted to curl up with a book, snuggle under a warm blanket, and immerse myself into another world.
But my 2 year old bundle of love and energy wouldn't allow me to live in my own bubbly book world. So, I sat with her, and we played, talked, and read together.
But that nagging thought keep creeping into my mind...that I needed to clean up!!
That's when I spotted my little pillow in the corner of the couch in my family room. It was squished into the side of the couch. I pulled it out, and read what was written on it.
It read,"Please excuse our mess. We are making family memories."
I looked up from the pillow to find my daughter standing in front of me, staring into my face. I must have zoned out in my own thoughts, for she asked, "Mommy, you're not talking to me?"
I grabbed her little body and hugged her tightly. "I love you baby. Of course I'm talking to you." I said.
I shook that crazy thought of cleaning out of my head. Wasn't it more important, after all, to create family memories?
Cleaning...I think I can find some time when she's asleep...
Those little reminder pillows are great to keep around... We all need a quiet reminder of what's important in our lives.
I think that we are all transformed one way or another by each person that enters our life for a second or for a lifetime.
Today, I feel that I should acknowledge each person young and old for affecting me. I wouldn't be the person I am today without all of you.